Thursday, May 14, 2009

if i had a tweet

my tweet for the day would be...

"i hate when people blatantly lie to your face"

Thursday, May 7, 2009


session 1: Let the Torture Begin...IT's and chest

i got to Iris' because its half way between my place and Roz's (the inflicter) and waited for what, i wasn't sure. all i knew going into it is that these things tend to be really painful. its a 10 session series that addresses the breaking down of the myofascial tissue that cradles and envelopes your muscles. this myofascial tissue, after years of misuse, over training, emotional trauma and other such things that cause strain on the organ, gets overly tight, sometimes adhering itself to the bone. sometimes it becomes so tight, so overly engrossed around the muscles, that the muscles themselves cannot move freely and independently of the tissue which may cause extreme tightness, miniature tears and painful movement. i find out as soon as she arrives that the first session concentrates on the chest area and the IT bands...duhn, duhn duhn. we started on the chest and it went well enough. pain but the good kind - the kind that hurts so much it feels good. and then it all came to a screeching halt. she started in on my IT's and i quite literally thought they were being ripped from my bone. the pain was indescribable and the only two thoughts going through my head were along the lines of 1. Mother Lord God in Heaven All Mighty...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! just. make. it. stop. and 2. marathon pain, yep this is what the marathon felt like at mile 6 and on...good God Almighty, i am one tough son of a bitch. who signs up for this shit? really, it was horrifically painful and i have a pretty damn high pain threshold. the next day, i looked like i had been in a cage fight with a dominatrix - i had bruises the length of my thighs combined with the soreness of boot camp, i was hobbling around like a little old lady with osteoporosis. if anything touched my outer thigh, i'd wince and yelp in pain. thank God that session is over with. and her closing remark to the night, "congratulations. you have the tightest IT's that i have EVER worked on!" wow, now that's an awesome award.

session 2: Who Knew You Could Have Knots There...feet

knowing the amount of pain i went through last week, i went into this session knowing it couldn't possibly be more painful so i wasn't too worried about the next hour and half, plus is was the feet bad could it really be? i've had a foot massage before and its definitely not painful. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. as she really started working on the soles of my right foot we both got a big shock as she passed over a knot the size of Dallas on the mid center area of the foot where i almost, involuntarily mind you, kicked her square in the face with such force that it would have definitely knocked her unconscious - that soccer player is still in there alive and kicking we soon discovered. each time she passed the knot, i yelped and kicked. it was quite entertaining...for her, i on the other hand was almost in tears at the pain. then we moved to the right side and Good God in Heaven Above...why?! it was even tighter than the other side, but in new and surprising places yet to be discovered by the elite explorers of the infinite universe...the most unsettling aspect of this particular torturous rendezvous was that each time she passed over the achingly tight fascia of my feet, extreme pain would shoot up my legs and into my knees, right where the damn things hurt me on a daily basis. it was so surreal to make the connection of the seemingly disassociation of my knee problems to the tight spots in my friggin feet! and then i got another award, much like the last, "wow, i'm amazed at how incredibly tight the fascia is down here. its the most tense i've ever felt!" nice, nice kb - way to be a star in the "over extended use of the fascia" show. in the end, i stood up to find that i felt eerily grounded to the earth, like nothing could topple me. my feet felt all tingly and strangely anew, like i was a baby and had some new toys to play with...weird.

i woke up this morning feeling better than i have in a long, long time. grounded, steady, centered.

Monday, May 4, 2009


i am aware that some of my posts are very mysterious...almost cryptic and i was asked last week a very strange question, well maybe it was more of a statement:

"katie b. your posts are very mysterious. like, hey i'm not going to give you any details but tell you just enough to keep you wondering. like, hey i'm leaving the blog world as katie b. only to return as carl...wahhahahahaha, wahhahahah (evil laugh)"

so i thought i should clarify just a bit - i am not going through a sex change :) i am going through the healing trifecta - acupuncture, rolfing and strength rehab/boot camp. my body is exhausted and my mind is less than coherent so blogging right now is proving to be a little difficult. i feel like i don't really make sense in my head so God knows what i sound like out loud...a raving lunatic i'd imagine. so in the sake of sparing you...forget it, in the sake of sparing ME the humiliation of mad, not quite lucid rants i have opted to take an oath of silence...

yeah right, like that would EVER happen. just being a little quieter than normal so i can hear and try to decipher all those little voices in my head :)

and now i have officially made my case in point...i am nutso.

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