well i almost shit my pants yesterday...

yes, you read that right. i took maggie on our first "after work" run last night. perfect trail weather, about 76 and the sun was just about setting. we got to Dunbar with exactly enough time to get in one loop of the long trail. i had used the bathroom before we left the house, but was still feeling (and looking) really bloated, like i had a small baby living in there and i said to myself, this not crossfitting is really starting to show...not to mention the steroids are really effing with my bathroom schedule. so i just figured go with it, what better motivation do you need to go run than to look pregnant when you're SO NOT?!?!?! so anyway, we get there, we get out on the trails and the sun was setting at a pretty steady pace. maggie was actually cooperating for the first time in like 3 runs and i was excited bc we were making good time. i think we only ended up passing like one, maybe two, other joggers so i knew the trails were more empty than not. we finally get to the end of the big loop and the pain in my stomach that i started to notice about the half way mark decidedly increased in a major way and i thought, holy shit! i have to shit!!!! and then the praying ensued, "please God don't let me shit my britches" over and over and over again. we ran past some people packing up their fishing gear and the park ranger making his last round to clear the trails and all i could do was look for a hidden place to...well you know, shit. ugh, so humiliating! i knew it was getting bad, to the point of no return just as we hit the top of the steps to get back to the truck and i just dove into the bushes near by, did a ubber quick scan all around, hid behind and huge laid down tree trunk and dropped my pants...had i waited a nanosecond longer i would have been driving home with it in my britches, it was that close. and maggie just stood there looking at me like, and this is what happens when you make us run fast mom, we both have to shit. bahahahahahaha. i quickly wiped myself with the plastic bag i brought to clean up after her, cleaned up my little indiscretion and high tailed it back outta the bushes to the dumpster and then on to the truck so no one would see us :( it was awful. and the worst part about it was that my stomach didn't stop hurting until we got almost home, like i gave birth to a poo baby and the contractions were still creating aftershocks...disgusting huh? i'm telling you this bc the hubby and i once had a conversation about shitting your pants and that i had never...well,  it almost happened and. it. was. not. fun. in the least. bahahahahahaha, hope you're having a good one and this made you laugh...its still making me laugh ;)

please God, help me

i am completely overwhelmed right now. with the situation with my husband, with the injury to my shoulder, with the coach telling me time off is not the answer but my shoulder screaming at me when i even open the car door, with the Open staring me the face every time i turn around, with me wanting to be better to the point it makes me crazy, with my discontent with my body and the progress (or lack there of at the rate i want) i am making, with the complete fear that over takes me sometimes that bad things are just waiting around the corner to gobble me up, for the stress at work and the slow progress of my new hire, for the exhaustion that i live with daily, for the suffocating feeling that sometimes consumes me, for striving to be perfect for everyone else and not knowing what perfection looks like for me, for always wanting more, for all of this that eats at me to the detriment of my mental health and wellness...please take this from me if it be your will, and if not, please help me to have a discerning and open mind to your will and what is best in terms of your want for the life i am leading. please help me to breathe and concentrate on you and the blessings you have given me.

forced down time...

being injured is no fun. plain and simple. but i also know that its the bodies way of saying "too much" and God's way of saying "slow down and focus on me" so that is what i am doing. my shoulder, the left one, the one that keeps getting strained and i don't know why, is acting up again and it is sidelining me. i finally broke down and went to see Dr Lee yesterday and have another appointment with him on Friday...last time this happened, it was the only thing that worked...that and lots of rest. so Magpie and i have been running every morning instead of me going to the box, which i must admit is killing me. i hate reading all the posts on the workouts. i so long to be there, busting my ass, sweating and in pain for the time of the WOD...but i am getting much better at recognizing the way God speaks to me and i know he is telling me to refocus my attention, not on Crossfit, not on the Open or people not doing the movements up to par and letting that bother me, which it totally should not for the record, not on the fact that i was able to do Rx'd that day or that i wasn't...he needs my focus to stay on him and the conundrum that my marriage is. it's constant work, on both our parts, constant greasing of the wheels, checking in on one another and ourselves, keeping our thoughts and words in line with what we truly want out of our lives together and how being so far apart affects that. marriage is some hard shit. i know we both think that and that its painful at times on each of us, in the same ways and in different ways...but God knows what he's doing, he brought us together and he will be the only one to break us apart, now and forever. He has proven that and i trust Him more than anything. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

SOOOOO close!

so it was a pretty jam packed weekend - my first one i think since el hubbo left and i'm no worse for the wear :) this no drinking thing is really working out for me quite nicely, i'm not even craving it on long days at the moment (for a while there, i was sort of feeling like an addict, hahahaha), but i am well into my second dry month and if all goes well after the three month challenge is up, i just might keep it up through the whole deployment! but i won't get ahead of myself just yet, i know a trip to SD will surely break my drinking fast and that is definitely on the horizon, so we shall just play it by ear.

in other FANTASTIC news...we worked on muscle ups this weekend after our trail run (well, Magpie and i hit the trail, however she did not do so well on her mup technique so i asked her to please step outside so she would stop embarrassing me! her little paws just could not hold a false grip. sheesh, and i thought she was my daughter, she must take after her dad...bahahahahahahaha!). anyhow, so back to the progress...technique technique technique...its all in the kip, or is the wrists, or is the transition...how about its in ALL of it strung together line a fine tuned string quartet!!! Lordy, its a tough move to master, but with the coaches' help, i got closer than ever. i've got my kip down -hips parallel to the ground, now its the transition that i need to get next before finally performing the miracle dip that i just know i have hiding deep down inside, raring to come out! coach thinks i'll have it by the end of the week, which is a pretty tall order, guess that means i'll be working on muscle ups EVERY day this week ;)

12.1 = not too shabby. Saturday was my day and i decided before it was even over that there was no way on God's green earth that i would put myself through that torture a second time just to see if could get more reps - NO WAY! in the end, i came in second female in my gym. coachie poo had 112 reps on her second attempt. i got 95 and hot Kim got 94. now, for technicality purposes, there was one girl who was counted at 96 reps HOWEVER she did not get 96 reps and i know this because i watched her gloating little ass not hit her mark atleast 5 times. 5 TIMES! and those were only the reps i saw, i was a little preoccupied with cheering on some of my other gym mates to really care at the moment, but the next day when she came in bragging about her number over, and over and OVER AGAIN, i wanted to smack her and yell, "YOU SO DID NOT GET 96! YOU HAD AT LEAST 5 NO REPS!" but i kept my cool and just asked God to please take the disdain i was feeling for her out of my heart. in case you can't tell, i absolutely DESPISE when people cheat reps. i mean, come on, be an adult and hold yourself accountable. if your hands don't touch the mark, then you cannot count the rep...and i know this because it happened to me at least 5 times in my 7 minutes where i had to re-jump to make the rep count...grrrrrrrr. okay, now that that is over, we just aren't going to count her for this blogs sake ;)

today's WOD was good, however i was uber tired from the weekend, but i had a good showing nonetheless:

Warmup:
Dynamic Mix
400m Sprint. Rest 40 seconds.
200m Sprint

3:08

MOD: Squat Clean
3-3-3-1-1-1
65, 85, 95, 100...couldn't get underneath 105, but if i'm being honest, i knew before i attempted that i didn't have it in me today, i am pretty worn out from last week.

WOD: Complete 3 Rounds. 1 min Rest between Each Round. Every Good Rep Counts.
Rx'd weight, mup progression of band behind booty1 min Push Press (75/55) 22 ,20, 181 min Hang Clean (75/55) 14, 17, 171 min Muscle Up or Progression 5, 6, 6
1 min Russian Swing (53/35) 31, 35, 35
total scores: 72, 78, 76 = 226

200# deadlift PR

yeah, that's right, 3 reps, oh yeah, doin the happy dance ;) man oh man i wish i could call el hubbo right now (miss him so much, especially on days like today when i know he would be SO proud of me, he loves it when i lift heavy and hit new marks!)!!!!!!!!! 1RM before was 190#!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh yeah, i'm gettin' stronger, oh yeah (i'm singing if you can't tell, hahahhahhahaha!). on top of all of that, my shoulder is feeling TONS better! thank you Jesus for binding up my wounds and answering my prayers, each day as i walk with you i feel your presence and all encompassing love. i am so glad i listened to your voice and have been spending more one on one time with you each evening :) now, i just pray that it stands up to the big test tomorrow - first Open WOD of the season...7 min max burpees...makes me want to pee myself already :(

Warmup:
500m Row
15 Ring Dips
15 T2B
15 Back Ext
15 Skin the Cat
15 DB Thruster

MOD: Deadlift
5-5-5-3-3
85#, 135#, 155#. 185#, 195#, 200#!!!!!!i added an additional round of 3 so i could hit 200# :)

WOD: 12m AMRAP -  Rx'd
9 Med Ball Cleans (20/16)
6 Slam Balls (20/16)

3 Med Ball push ups

100M sprint

9 rounds total, came in just as the clock hit 12min, TG! this was a deceptively rough WOD, i kept thinking before we started, "oh this won't be that bad..." WRONG WRONG WRONG. it. hurt. a lot.

quick update

WarmUp:
Shoulder Mobility
Leg Mashing

MOD: Rope Climb and Handstand Progressions
i did one rope climb but it put a little too much strain on my hurt arm for comfort so i just stuck with the one, but i def need to work on these when i am 100% again. worked on single arm handstands on the wall, can get left arm up no problems, still working on getting right arm up, can get it up now, just can't hold it and also worked on handstand walks, getting much better at my form and free standing form :)

WOD: 3 RFT Av'd
400m Run
15 OHS (95/65) 55#
15 Box Jumps
15 Pullups
250m Row
time - 18:52
1st female done, Kyle beat me, BUT i wasn't Rx'd, although the shoulder/arm sitch is feeling MUCH MUCH better, PRAISE JESUS!, hot Kim and Juliette both did Rx'd. on a high note, did find out that Juliette cannot do kipping pullups strung together so that one day like a week and a half ago when her total score was higher than mine?! it was bc she had to of been doing box pullups to have had that great of a margin over me so there you go, mystery solved ;) the shoulder actually felt a million times better this AM, more sore than hurt rather than the other way around for the past week and a half or more so that is FANTASTIC news, bc the Open start this week and i would really like to be able to do my best so next year, when i am concentrated on actually being competitive (oh yes, it is my year next year!!!), i wil have something to bump it up against :) very exciting. oh and on the emotional front, feeling much more settled. i've been praying a lot on verse Phil 4:8 lately and that God help me to concentrate on it throughout my day and its been working. i've been feeling less frustrated and irritated with the little one, feeling a lot less anxiety towards el hubbo in my thought life AND feeling just more centered in general. i vowed that from here until i see fit, or God tells me otherwise, that there will be no more trash t.v. - had to delete Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill from my DVR recording schedule (i think those are my only two really trashy ones, i don't count Vampire Diaries as trashy...i wonder why, hopefully its just because i like it so much! i will say though that i feel physically dirty after watching GG or OTH and i do not after VD, so i will keep my inner compase set on high this week to see if that changes). so i'm allowing myself one t.v. show while i eat, if there is something on i want to watch, last night i watched Heart of Dixie recorded, the night before Joel Osteen's Sunday sermon recorded, and then Magsdale and i head off to bed to continue reading Revelations...its a very strange book of the Bible. not sure how i feel about it yet, but i will read it until its done and then i think i will move on to my favorite book of the bible Phillipians :) XOXO

WOD 2/21/2012

WarmUp:
Hip Mobility/Shoulder Mobility
Dynamic Warmup

MOD:
Back Squat
75%-80%-85%-90%-95%
5-5-3-3-3

65#, 95#, 115#, 125# - didn't get to last set due to time

WOD: 21-18-15-12-9-6-3
Power Snatch (115/75) 55#
Wallballs (20/16) 8#
Donkey Kicks
Scaled weight - movements actually didn't tweak me at all, which i was surprised at, kept it light and worked on form. iced the shoulder last night and directly after WOD, constant application of tiger balm and took a Celebrex with breakfast, praying it helps so i can be competitive in the Open (starts tomorrow).