things that make you go "hmmm?"

"hmmm?"1: i went to Mesa College today to finish registering for my accounting 101 class. you might be thinking "why katie b? you already have a perfectly good degree in creative writing?" and i'd say "well i am a senior accounting specialist for my PR firm that includes three offices - San Diego, New York, and Los Angeles. i manage all 3 offices' accounting and have absolutely no solid background in the damn field besides getting thrown to the wolves from my very first job out of college. so - my boss would like me to at least learn what the heck i need to know to grow this department and make it rock" i say "bring it!" so with that, i was off to pay for the class. in the midst of the whole paying sham they have set up down there in no man's land which i think was at least 92 degrees, a boy of 14 started chatting me up in line - okay, maybe not 14 but definitely no older than 18. a bit later, i was in the elevator with said boy and his friend where he proceeded to say the following, "that's cool, we'll both be on this campus. hopefully i'll run into you sometime soon." ha. ha ha. ha haha hahahahahahahaha. really?! was i really just hit on by a 14 year old child?! yes, yes. i think i was... "hmmm?"


"hmmm"2: on my way back from the shenanigan's of community college and the unending joys it entails, i stopped by Henry's to pick up some Barney Butter because what do you know? i'm out. go figure. so i get in the store and HOLY COW - BARNEY BUTTER IS ON SALE!!!!!!!! sweet glorious mother Mary in Heaven is finally answering my prayers and is on the look out for my CHECK LIST - Special Needs items. at this point i sort of went a little crazed - all wide eyed with weird giglingly spouts errupting from my lips while grabbing every jar of BB on the shelf (note this kids - go stalk up at your neighborhood Henry's, but if your in Point Loma, you may have to ask if they have anymore in the back). anyway, back to the story - as i am frantically hording all of the smooth BB insight, i see this lady out of the corner of my eye sort of staring at me like "what the hell are you doing?" i sort of just smile, hold up one of the jars like "hey, gotta love it" and scurry to the register where the checkout boy proceedes to ask me if i was actually planning on eating all of that and then actually looked me up and down. i then had to go into some sort of lame explanation of how i'm a triathlete and training for my first half...in the end i said "no, i don't need a bag" and juggled the jars out to my car. i just forked over $40 for jars of almond butter..."hmmm?"



"hmmm?"3: if you google images of Barney Butter, my picture pops up as the 6th AND the 10th item on the count. really!? REALLY?! it's official - the saying "you are what you eat" holds a completely new meaning..."hmmm?"


"hmmm?"4: so after the race on Sunday, Dana and i start to walk in a direction that i was dead sure was taking us to my car. i just knew we were going the right way and defended it with such conviction that Dana had to believe me. she had just run a 1/2 marathon, so it's not like her brain was working all that quickly - well quickly enough to scream at her "NO NO, DON'T BELIEVE HER! SHE IS THE MOST DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENGED PERSON YOU KNOW!!!! RUN. RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!" so we continued to walk for a good 20 - 30 min in the direction of what i thought was Zoo Place only to hit 6th street. weird. is that even close to where we want to be? of course it is...until we look at the map and find that i have lead us in the absolute, complete wrong direction and we are on the opposite side of Balboa Park from where we need and so desperately want to be. so we had to call Bri to come and pick up our dumb asses - me dumb for having lead us there and Dana dumb for allowing me the opportunity. the best part about it is that i am so utterly convincing that it really is hard to doubt me. i mean, i apparently even talk myself into thinking i really know where i am going. really?! how can a person be so damn sure they are going in the right direction to find that they are going in the exact wrong direction 99.9% of the time?!..."hmmm?"



"hmmm?"5: as some of you may know - i have a gum addiction. this isn't just any of your run of the mill gum chewers anonymous offenders either. take for instance - i bought a pack of gum last night at 7PM Sunday. it is now 10AM on Monday and there is one piece left. one. and this isn't abnormal. my daily ritual usually goes a little something like this:

2 PM - buy pack of gum
2:01 PM - first piece chewed
3:4oish PM - first half of pack - GONE
5 PM - popping last piece on way to my workout

and there you have it. now, the rate of gum chewed is in direct relation to the amount of internal/external stress i am feeling during that period of time. i have been known to go through two entire packs from a 1PM - 5PM period of time and not even think twice about it. everyone who knows me or has spent any real amount of time around me knows i will more than likely have a pack on me and if i don't, its because i've already chewed it all. i gave it up for Lent. once. i made it through the time allotted by the powers that be, but as soon as i put that first piece back in the trapper, it was like the Heavens opened up and sang. it was over after that. a pack a day habit was back in place and i still suffer from the effects. oh and i should mention, i only buy one certain type of gum. you will NEVER see me purchase another brand or color than the light blue STRIDE sweet peppermint. its a sick, sick addiction. i mean who goes through an entire 14 pieces of gum in a matter of 3 hours?!..."hmmm?"