Thursday, September 4, 2008

i'm sorry

i'm so sorry it happened. i know we're still in the "courting" phase of our relationship and i had no right to skip out on you like i did tonight. i know this is the first time but its not an excuse. i can't believe i was so caught up in my own thoughts and feelings, needs and wants that i just totally overlooked what you were thinking and feeling, needing and wanting. i've just been feeling so tired and worn out this week. you've worn me out quite frankly. still, i should have just been honest with you, told you i wasn't going to show, let you down easy instead of just going home to eat dinner. and yet, here i am writing it all down because i feel bad...well, i don't feel all that bad. i mean we do spend every single day together. we see each other at least once or twice and sometimes more a day. i spend countless hours riding your sturdy frame, but no - that's me being selfish again - it was foolish of me to not call or show. down right insensitive and now i am feeling remorse. after a delicious dinner and some research on the web, i sort of found my second wind and am ready to play. too bad its dark now and nearing my bed time. i promise to never stand you up again. i know this is not how relationships are supposed to work. you always do your part, perform as i ask, be where i need you to be and this is the thanks you get? it won't happen again. i will not let my self centered thoughts of tiredness, hunger or weakness get in the way of what we have. its special and i do not want to take it for granted. i've come to realize in this short amount of time that we've known each other, that i love you with all my heart and i don't know where i would be without you. you are my safe place, you help keep me grounded yet you know when to let me fly. you do so much for me and i can't tell you how much i care. so, again and again until you believe me and forgive me for the indifference i showed you tonight - i am truly sorry. you mean everything to me and i will not let you down again. please tell me you'll forgive me...i love you baby.


3 comments:

seeryanrun said...

If I'd been drinking something, it would have shot out of my nose. I think you need another day off. ;P

Benson said...

Yes, you should be sorry. That's no way to treat the one you love. Especially such a strong and loyal friend like G.
You give, and he'll give back.
You ignore, and he'll...
Wait a minute, now I'm sucked into this. I'm such a sap.

rocketpants said...

poor baby...ignore him like that!

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