dear best friend,

im doing alright. been feeling really blue lately but that seems to always come and go, no reason in particular, you know me, i just go through it. i had a REALLY bad reaction to the meal plan/dairy (greek yogurt + 3 protein shakes a day). my body completely freaked out, it was like the old days, OCD like a mother fucker, couldnt concentrate to save my life, cravings to throw up, my face broke out worse than it has in a REALLY long time, totally drained of energy and STARVING all of the time. it. was. bad. so i stopped and i'm still trying to get it out of my system an entire week later! right now all im doing is organic, grass fed meats and fats and tons and tons of veggies. i havent really been limiting my calories, well when it comes to the veggies, i have set portions for my during the day meals, but at night if i'm still feeling hungry or unsatisfied, i PILE on the veggies and eat as much as i want...seems to be having a good effect on my morning bathroom jaunts ;) hahahaha. AND on top of all that, my shoulder is doing its thing again, the left one, not the one i tore, but i have trouble with both of them feeling that way, so i've been taking it really easy this week and actually took the past two days off from Crossfit and have just run with Maggie - she needs the extra QT anyway so it works out best i guess. i've also been super frustrated with el hubbo lately, not really anything he's done, i guess its just all the repressed feelings from this past year and expectations i think he should be meeting, when in reality its all just stuff i need to work through and deal with. honestly, its probably the best timing possible that he is gone now, it gives me time to decompress and work through how i really feel about all that happened without him here. i can be mad by myself, sad, hurt or whatever and he doesnt have to relive it all again. IDK. i'm such a complicated little person ;) hahaha, anyway i love and i hope you and J had a great vday. i'm not drinking or eating out right now so you will be happy to know you're GC is going to a new pair of lululemon workout pants :) best present EVER!

miss you, talk soon XOXO