2010

my one resolution for the new year: to not stress about that which i cannot control (which basically is everything)...code word: Big Sky

this seems to be working so far, whenever i feel the stress coming on, or i start to freak out in the moment i am in, i think "Big Sky" and it helps to put things into perspective. the boyfriend came up with it about a week ago and i really have been quite successful (so far) in using it. so here's to big skies (and awesome boyfriends).

i didn't really have any goals for 2009 per say, save for stay healthy and live in the moment and seeing as how the above resolution is in reference to that very thing, i think its safe to say that i did NOT accomplish that last year. so, goals for the new year...now, this is a work in progress so please keep your laughter to yourselves ;)

1) complete Iris' fast/diet cleanse (starts January 5!)
2) lose 8 lbs of fat and KEEP IT OFF (this of course means i need to actually weigh myself, ugh!)
3) regain my muscle definition and then build on that until i am happy with the way i look again (this damn torn rotator cuff has really put a damper on my workouts)
4) resume yoga practice at least once a week in order to stay limber and injury free
5) to read more - at least 5 new books this year, front to back!
6) love myself and who i am everyday no matter what
7) pay off my credit card and then start working on my personal loan
8) to realize what it is i want to do with my life (work wise) and take at least 3 steps toward accomplishing it
9)
10)

simply amazing

HUGE shout out to my girl speedy:

BIB	AGE	STATE/COUNTRY	PROFESSION
--76	20-something	USA	Editor

SWIM	BIKE	RUN	OVERALL	RANK
58:30	6:03:09	4:49:28	12:00:24	291

DIV.POS.

8

KICKED ASS :)

its about that time

there's not doubt about it, i'm not getting any younger so i think its time to start an official Bucket List, so here goes (in no particular order) - i'll add to it when i think of more, the possibilities are endless especially when my independently wealthy plans come to fruition!

1. learn how to snowboard (and be good at it!) (as of 11/13/2009 - this one is officially in the works! my first snowboarding trip will be this January as an early birthday present from a VERY old friend! SO STOKED! i am SO on my way ;) - UPDATE: well this has been canceled due to immanent work weather that has got me completely snowed in for the remainder of January, oh well - another time i guess)
2. visit Fiji for a two week vacation
3. go hiking in Slovenia
4. visit Hart Brown in the Caribbean
5. go zip lining in Costa Rica
6. go skydiving in New Zealand
7. eventually fall in love (real love) and get married and then have a family
8. visit Italy to learn about my heritage
9. sit front row at a UFC fight in Vegas
10. go to a Steeler's game in PA
11. eat a Kobe beef fillet (medium rare please)
12. stay at an ashram in India for a month of personal growth and inner development
13. become independently wealthy (this one is a given, but i thought i'd write it to be on the safe side, just so the universe and i are for sure on the same page)
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

yum

football Sunday is our time to relax and get ready for the coming week so i cooked for T and me. we had a meatza :) i got the idea here, but of course, i didn't use the recipe because, well, i just don't use recipes. so here is what it came out looking like...

ingredients for the "crust":
2 lbs of ground chicken breast
1 lb of beef chorizo (to give it some fat and spicy flavor)
garlic and herb spices (to taste)
Italian spices (to taste)

toppings:
fresh spinach
sauteed mushrooms
sauteed red onions
crumbled goat cheese
mozzarella cheese


it was freaking good! you should try it, even if your not a primal eater like we are :)

PSA

i need medication. or to start working out again. one of the two. i really hope the huge mother effer of a shot i got today in my shoulder, chalk full of steroids, will allow the latter to happen soon. until then - i wanted to make a public announcement that i am fully aware of the fact that i am a full fledged looney tune and the first step to recovery is admittance...right?

a new addiction

oh no, it has happened. i have officially crossed over to the "fight side." i watched the first show of the season for The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights last night and all i can say is...i'm hooked. now i do have to admit that the company i watched it with added tremendously to the enjoyment of the show - i mean how can you go wrong with your own batch of home grown commentators that remark on everything from the fat bellies to the "tiger eating a baby dolphin" tattoos. priceless. now that's not to say i enjoyed watching the bloodiest fight EVER through the cracks of a hand that happened to be covering my horrified eyes, BUT i am learning to appreciate the fighters and what they are doing. how can i not when i'm surrounded by them so much lately? so here is the breakdown of the new cast:

• Zak Jensen (11-2): The 6-foot-4, 265-pound 26-year-old Jensen was a collegiate wrestler and football player at Northern Illinois University and Augsburg College. After college, he found success in "Tough Man" competitions and Golden Gloves competitions and eventually made the move to MMA in 2007.
• Marcus Jones (4-1): The 6-foot-6, 260-pound 35-year-old Jones is the most prolific of the show's NFL quartet. While playing defensive end at the University of North Carolina, Jones was an All-American and the 1995 ACC Defensive Player of the Year and became the 1996 first-round draft pick of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. After eight successful years in the NFL, he joined Gracie Tampa and made the transition to MMA.
• Scott Junk (6-2): The 6-foot-1, 265-pound 30-year-old Junk was a former Division II All-American football player at Southwest Oklahoma State. After college, Junk began training in mixed martial arts, earning his way into the UFC in 2007. Junk, who took the fight on less-than-two-weeks' notice, suffered a first-round submission loss to Christian Wellisch.
• John Madsen (3-0): The 6-foot, 240-pound 29-year-old Madsen grew up in South Dakota, where he earned all-conference and all-state honors in football, wrestling and track. After defeating current UFC champion Brock Lesnar in a high-school wrestling match, Madsen went on to earn a Division II wrestling national championship at South Dakota State University. Madsen currently trains at Matt Hughes' H.I.T. Squad.
• James McSweeney (12-4): The 6-foot-4, 230-pound 28-year-old Englishman McSweeney started with a striking background, beginning his training in kickboxing at 6 years old before moving to Thailand to train full-time. After amassing a 136-9 combined record in multiple kickboxing organizations, McSweeney moved in with former UFC champion Rashad Evans and now trains full time at Greg Jackson's MMA in New Mexico.
• Matt Mitrione (0-0): The 6-foot-3, 275-pound 30-year-old was a two-position football All-American while in high school. After attending Purdue University and earning All-Big Ten honors, Mitrione played six seasons in the NFL as a member of the New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings. Following a devastating injury, Mitrione returned to his childhood passion of combat sports and began training with UFC veterans Chris Lytle and Jake O'Brien.
• Roy Nelson (14-4): The 6-foot-1, 265-pound 33-year-old was born and raised in Las Vegas, training in martial arts from an early age while playing football, baseball and wrestling. After turning pro, Nelson surprised many opponents with his less-than-impressive physique. "Big Country" earned the now-defunct IFL's heavyweight crown, before suffering recent losses to notables Jeff Monson and Andrei Arlovski.
• Demico Rogers (4-0): The 6-foot-4, 235-pound 27-year-old was a stand-out wrestler and football player while attending high school in his native Washington. Rogers began training jiu-jitsu as a means of staying in shape, and after winning a local mixed martial arts tournament, he began to focus on the sport as a potential career.
• Brendan Schaub (4-0): The 6-foot-4, 240-pound 26-year-old credits the Jean Claude Van Damme movie "Bloodsport" as his inspiration to pursue martial arts. Growing up in Colorado, Schaub was an all-state athlete in both football and lacrosse. Schaub went on to play fullback at the University of Colorado before later playing in the Arena Football League and earning a spot on the Buffalo Bills' practice squad in the NFL. Schaub remained active in tae kwon do and jiu-jitsu, and he currently trains at T's KO Fight Club and Jackson's MMA.
• Darill Schoonover (10-0): The 6-foot-2, 250-pound 24-year-old Schoonover grew up in Texas and began training in jiu-jitsu, judo and submission grappling at 17. After graduating high school, Schoonover entered the Army, serving two years in the armed forces. Schoonover remains on active reserve while pursuing a career in teaching, though with 10-stoppages wins in 10 trips to the cage, mixed martial arts may quickly take precedence.
• Wes Shivers (3-1): The 6-foot-7, 285-pound 32-year-old Shivers grew up in Mississippi, earning a scholarship to play football at Mississippi State University. Shivers earned all-SEC honors before playing in the NFL with both the Tennessee Titans and Atlanta Falcons. Shivers followed his football career with a four-year stint in law enforcement. Shivers continues to train in Mississippi, including with UFC veteran Alan Belcher.
• Wes Sims (22-12-1): The 6-foot-10, 260-pound 29-year-old Sims originally planned to pursue a career in professional wrestling before UFC Hall of Famer Mark Coleman convinced "The Project" to take a shot at mixed martial arts. Sims earned his way into the UFC in 2003, dropping back-to-back outings to current UFC interim champion Frank Mir. Sims currently runs a gym in his native Ohio.
• Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson (3-1): The 6-foot-1, 235-pound 35-year-old Ferguson needs little introduction to hardcore or casual MMA fans. The streetfighting YouTube sensation played football at the University of Miami before working as a bodyguard, earning extra money with his bareknuckle brawling exploits. A four-time veteran of the now-defunct EliteXC, Fergsuon last fought in a now-infamous loss to Seth Petruzelli.
• Abe Wagner (6-2): The 6-foot-4, 265-pound 29-year-old Wagner grew up in Wisconsin, excelling in both football and basketball while in high school. Wagner played linebacker at Michigan Tech University, earning a degree in mechanical engineering. Wagner began training in mixed martial arts in 2005.
• Mike Wessel (6-1): The 6-foot, 255-pound 31-year-old Wessel was raised in Ohio, eventually playing his way onto the University of St. Francis football team. Wessel played briefly in the Arena Football League before accepting a position as the strength and conditioning coach at the University of Arkansas. Wessel suffered his first professional defeat at the hands of Antoni Hardonk in his lone UFC appearance at UFC 92 in December 2008.
• Justin Wren (10-1): The 6-foot-3, 264-pound 22-year-old Wren was a two-time high-school national champion wrestler in his native Texas, earning a spot on the Iowa State University wrestling team before an injury forced him to take a year off and recover. During his time away from wrestling, Wren focused his energy on mixed martial arts training, eventually electing to turn pro. Wren trains in Texas with "The Ultimate Fighter 4" champ Travis Lutter, and he plans on moving to Las Vegas to train full-time with current UFC interim champ Frank Mir.

now i can't remember for the life of me the names of the guys who fought last night, but i'll find out...now i gotta pick my favorite guy to root for...which will be hard since i know NOTHING about any of this stuff. oh but i did learn about the term for when you switch your stance from the natural left foot forward to the right foot forward...but damn, i forgot what it was. worthless i tell you. worthless.

;)

Muay Thai Hurts the Weak

well i am worn the eff out from last night. Jhanex tried to kill me - literally. we did 80 squat jumps, 80 bear crawls, 80 squat jumps, 80 bear crawls to start the class AFTER our running warm up, shadow boxing and jump rope...the middle sets included 1) jab/straight/jab, two right, two left 2) 10 right, 10 left 3) jab/straight/hook/straight, 5 right, 5 left 4) 15 right, 15 left...we ended with 50 sit ups, 30 sit ups, 50 sit ups, 30 sit ups......BRUTAL! esp for being out for two straight weeks with a shoulder injury AND going low carb trying to find my sweet spot, ugh!!!! he just smiled the whole time - he was having a blast making us all hurt.

it felt great to be back, even though i was sucking it up! i had planned on going this AM too, but my shoulder just felt really tired this AM and kinda throbby (but not hurty like it has been), along with my body feeling like it had been thrown into a moving MAC truck so i opted to sleep a little bit longer. the doc said to get back in it easy so i decided that getting in tues/thurs nights this week will be good and then i can start doing Tony's classes on mon/wed/fri next week too. so muay thai 5 days a week until the shoulder is back to 100%, YAY :)

i do have to say that the rehab exercises are really helping. i can feel a pretty noticeable decrease in my shoulder pain and i've only been doing them consistently for a couple of days so that is fantastic news! now to just get my cardio level back up to par, oh the fun that will be had ;)

a bit of good news

well, i finally went to see the good doctor and he gave me some good news - my shoulder is not torn (possibly some micro tears, but no major tear) which is great news. he gave me the ok to modify crossfit workouts and go back to muay thai along with rehab exercises to do daily - so that was a huge relief. he said to get back into it VERY slowly and that i am not allowed to go heavy under any circumstance. like the 25 lb bar at the most IF it doesn't hurt it, so we'll see. he says if its not better in two weeks, we'll give it a steroid shot to see if that helps. he believes its a case of going too heavy without proper form and not having the strength needed in my scapulae to stabilize the movement which in turn has irritated my rotator cuff quite a bit and is probably causing some tendinitis. obviously don't do anything that hurts it, but to try to modify movements to get it moving and strengthen it. he was impressed with how much stronger i was overall so that is good. he says probably 4 more weeks of recovery which means not going 100% which is damn near impossible for me. i hope i can pull this off with out losing my sanity! i guess my week is going to look like this (with the unsaid "taking it easy on the shoulder" clause in full effect):

mon - PM warm up with 4 X 400's, 4 sets of 25box jumps, 25squats, 25back extensions and 25sit ups then my rehab exercises. maybe the elliptical after that for a bit.
tues - PM muay thai
wed - AM cross fit (YAY!)
thurs - PM muay thai
fri - cross fit (YAY!)

i doubt i'll get much of anything in this weekend, but i'm shooting to at least squeeze in a run - we'll just have to see how the weekend goes.

a moment's pause

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" —Mary Anne Radmacher

RUN don't walk

so i go to the gym last night to do the following little workout that i came up with on the drive over:

X 4 rounds
25 med ball squats (10lb)
25 box jumps
25 sit ups
25 back extensions
400 M run

so i run into my new friend Marty and very easily talk him into joining me on my little Cross Fit inspired adventure. we walk over to the designated room to discuss our plan and noticed a Kettle Bell class going on so that kind of ruined those plans. just then Tony, who i love and has sort of taken over as my go to guy for everything gym related (rehab exercises, learning how to kick correctly, goop to put on my shoulder, etc...), walks up and we start to relay what we'd like to do and ask if he will open the back door for us so we can commence what i think to be a pretty hard workout. well crazy Marty some how gets it in his head that he was going to talk shit to Tony (this is a very bad, bad idea) because "he can do anything." so Tony, being the incredibly generous guy he is, says "well if my girl doesn't show to train, i'll come up and work you two out." here you're probably thinking, "oh, what a nice guy! people normally pay him big bucks to train them and here he is offering to do it for free!" right... he then proceeds to try to kill us...literally. i can't even remember what the hell kind of stuff he had us do. all i know is i could barely make my legs move to the next thing he had planned. he almost had Marty to the point of puking in the middle of it and i wanted to puke when it was over. i think the workout lasted about 45 minutes, maybe shorter, maybe longer. it was like i was there to start it all off and then it was like i just sort of blacked out until right before it was over where i woke up and felt an inordinate amount of pain in my lower extremities! i just sat there for what seemed like an hour afterward trying to get my legs back under me. i finally forced myself on to the elliptical for a 10 minute cool down 30 minutes AFTER the workout was completed. it. was. brutal.

take home lesson here kids: NEVER talk shit to Tony, ever. and if someone around you is talking shit, RUN - don't walk the other way.

oh my WOD

so we did it - the 10 10 10 - 10 below parallel squats, run up the convention center stairs, 10 full sit ups, run back down the stairs X 10 rounds...OUCH was my initial observation from the word go. i had successfully talked bg into coming with me - i felt like having company while i tortured myself. ends up i ran myself into oblivion instead...

so i show bg how the "Cross Fit" style squats and sit ups go, we do a warm up lap the length of the Convention Center, stretch and kinda start to fear the beast we are going to attempt to tame. we set up shop at the bottom, with our water bottles strategically placed in the narrow shadows of the rail, as the sun was already beating down and it was only 9 AM...and then we were off, at first, step for step up the stairs to what we thought was the top only to find out it levels off for a breath and continues up about 10 feet away with another 2 rises...right. i tell bg to set it out here, we'll catch the final two flights on our next climb - we'll use this as "warm up"...again right. we descend and immediately hit the squats, i a bit faster at the movement, but bg keeping his own. we ascend again and at the top, just before the breathing strip i think, out loud mind you, "FUCK" and sit my very tired little ass down right where i sat it for the first one and said to bg, well more like grunted like an out of shape fat kid, "we'll stay here...have to work up to those," where bg returned with something to the effect like "yeah, i thought so" and continued on with our sit ups. please remember this is only set number 2 - bg still one step behind me the whole way, really putting out and i'm impressed seeing as this is his first "Cross Fit" style workout - he's a triathlete - so i wasn't really sure what to expect from him, but damn it if he wasn't giving me a run for my money! fast forward to round 5, and i have to stop to get a drink, its God awful hot and then it happens, bg pulls ahead and i think oh no, but i can't stop drinking, like literally cannot pull my hands away from the bottle that is housing the life giving liquid that is now filling up my fat little belly with so much goodness...and then it happens - its gone and i'm devastated and bg finishes his squats and OH FREAKING NO, starts to climb so now i have to play catch up. damn it bg, can't you just give into the urge to drink?! and have i made it clear yet how much this little jaunt is hurting me?! and not hurt as in "oh my, this is uncomfortable," but hurt as in "Good God Almighty, who in the hell decided to come up with this shit show of a workout and who in the hell talked me into doing it?!" oh wait, me...and me again. shit.

bg finished in 15:59. i finished in 16:01. and then we ate. a lot. :)

NAET

so i just did one of my last sessions, well technically it was my last session IF i clear it all on the first try, but that's never a given. i will tell you that this last "allergy" clearing was a HUGE one for me and it might have given me the biggest detox reaction of them all and i had to clear gluten/wheat/grains 5 times! this all makes perfect sense seeing as how i knew my body wasn't absorbing any of the nutrients it needs to keep my muscles supple and healthy, which directly affects the amount and intensity of workouts i can do! Dr. Nikzad said this would be a big one for me and i'm just glad i finally got in there to do it. the thing with clearing these is that you can't touch any metal or salt...metal as in buttons on your pants, car keys, door handles etc... so it makes for an incredibly challenging 24 hours! so i finally went in to clear the salt and minerals yesterday at noon, making it imperative to wear gloves for the rest of the day (how freaking embarrassing to be at work - with rubber gloves on - conducting a meeting!). within the hour of me "clearing" the two, i was a mess of itchiness - like my entire body was crawling with creepy little buggies or something. it was the strangest feeling! that went on all night long and when i woke up this AM, i felt better. so there you go. i wonder if i cleared 100%? i'm very curious but i can't afford another treatment until i get paid again BUT i can tell you i already feel tons better...very, very interesting. i really pray this cleared and the sodium, potassium and magnesium my muscles need to stay in top shape begins to absorb and all my troubles melt away - a girl can dream cant she?! ;)

recovery week

i'm just plain run down. my body actually screamed obscenities at me last night during my hour an a half long massage. it is very UNhappy with the current state of things. and when i actually sat down to contemplate the complete demise of my structural being in terms of reality in both past and present training situations, it is absolutely no different for me to take a recovery week now vs. when i was tri training. its actually quite dumb to not, knowing how my body reacts to extreme workouts - it basically starts to shut down. so in retrospect, this is exactly what needs to happen and i'm okay with it now if i think about it in those terms. although my body is still refusing to act accordingly. my stomach has decided to take over and i'm eating everything in sight - like i was starving the poor thing this whole time or something (which for the record, i have not been - i have been eating better than ever, more regularly and healthfully than ever, but maybe, just mayyyybeeee not enough). then of course, the Cross Fit workout today kicked ass and i, of course, missed it and i think that's the hardest part of taking off right now, missing the great workouts! when you take a recovery week in tri's, you know you're not missing anything - its always there waiting for you thanks to your good old coach who delights in making you do it all. in this type of training though, no one waits around for you or goes back to do the good ones again with you - you're kind of on your own in that aspect. ah well, tis time to rest and rest i shall - until next Tuesday. God, i pray this shoulder heals by then!

oh snap!

i just came up with a new crossfit workout to completely demobilize your legs:

10 air squats
stairs/bleachers (find a pretty hefty set of these bad boys)
20 russian twists
30 sec plank
X 20 rounds

we'll just call it kdizzle :)

oh the things i do to occupy my time while nursing a shoulder injury...monday is a session with "the healer" - i'm hoping she can work some magic on my shoulder, right hamstring and left calf!

womp womp womp

well, Mr. Wagner was nice enough yesterday when i told him of my shoulder situation and sort of let me do my own thing with a pretty hefty leg workout that i LOVED. today, however, Mr. Wagner was not near as nice. he gave me a very stern talking to, basically called me a stubborn brat and then sent me upstairs to do the elliptical for 30 min and stretch. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! he sent me to my room like a bad stepchild to sit in the corner and "think" about what i'd done. i was so damn irritated that i actually went upstairs and did it, the whole time cussing him out in my head, letting him know just how i felt about his stupid assessment of the situation and not letting me do another leg workout because "you will just keep jarring your shoulder about and it will never get better if you keep this up...i know you don't want to take time off but its getting worse and your being stubborn and seeing as how you are walking away from me right now with that look on your face just proves me right" blah blah blah Jeremy...you sir SUCK :-P

this is what i wanted to do and i will do it...after my shoulder gets better (yes, butthead of the universe, you win...this round):

30 deep squats w/10lb med ball
30 jumping lunges
25 full sit ups
15 burpees
400 M sprint
X 4 rounds

now doesn't that sound lovely? i think i'll call it katie b :)

WOD 8/27/2009...well sort of

as in i didn't do the WOD today. at all. because my shoulder is so jacked up, i had to do the following and can i just tell you up front how much it sucked? and can i also tell you how much i freaking loved it?! :)

warm up - 2 laps + stretching + 3 rounds of 10 air squats, 10 sit ups, 10 back extensions

tabbata squats (score was your lowest # in the allotted split time, mine was 14 - OUCH!)
400 M jog (to loosen the legs, where in said legs didn't begin to properly move until i was just about done with the lap!)
25 box jumps
24 sit ups
X 4 rounds (just the jumps and sit ups, NOT the tabbatas and 400!)

and then i was done. spent. kaput. check ya later dude.

i think Jeremy (who has a story of his own in the "random acts of katrina file" but who stood in for Susannah today as the instructor and will again tomorrow) was a little annoyed i couldn't do anything with my shoulder, but what the hey - he made me do tabbatas for it, and then i made up the rest bc well, i was tired at the end of that, but not good and tired...and if you know katie b at all, you should know i never stop until it hurts. never.

;) now for Muay Thai tonight...nothin but fun kids. nothin. but. fun.

8/25/2009

warm up - 2 laps + stretching

30 wall balls (i have a hurt shoulder, so i had to do deep squats with a 10 lb med ball)

30 box jumps

20 burpees

X 3 rounds

13:55

needless to say i was dead tired! like so tired i just wanted to lay down like a dead fish out of water, but i was sucking so much wind that i had to stand up right in order for my lungs to expand - i love this shit! first one to finish too, but i also had a modification in the first exercise so its all relative. i'm going to do muay thai tonight and then take tomorrow off to recover some. my shoulder is SUPER hurty and and i really wish it would just get better! i know what i need to do, i just don't want to take a whole nother week off - ARG! i guess we'll see, it's looking like i really don't have a choice at this point... :(

WOD 8/24/2009

warm up - one lap + stretching

400M sprint

25 box pull ups

as many rounds as you can in 20 min

i got 7

and. it. hurt.

a lot.

Team WOD 8/20/2009

today was a pretty fun one, but also pretty challenging:

warm up - 2 laps + stretching

guys team = 2 guys
girls team = 3 girls
task 1 - carry 500lbs broken into 400 M sprint intervals - your whole team can work at once, but only 6 10's, 6 25's and 6 45's could be in play at one time for the girls team, and 4 10's, 4 25's and 4 45's at a time for the guys team. how ever many 400 M sprints it took to carry that much total weight was how many you had to do amongst your team.
task 2 - 75 tire flips broken up how ever you deemed worthy
20:48 (i think)

its a well known fact that i can't think when i'm putting out so my math was off, but apparently so was Susannah's. all i know for certain is i carried 50 lbs on my first two laps, and 35 on my last two laps. i tried to do 40, but we already had too many 10 lbs plates out on the course, so i had to drop to a 25 lb and 10 lb plate which was extremely awkward and difficult to manage. i think T carried 50 on her first lap, and 40 on her next 3 laps. i have no clue what Jenn carried but i think it was 45, 40, 35, 35 which does not add up to 500 lbs, only 495 lbs but oh well, my shoulder felt like it carried 100 lbs for seven laps! so that was that and then we moved on to the tire flips. each one of us took turns leading the tire, with the other two on the each side helping to guide. we did it in sets of 20's, save for the last set of 15 obvi and made pretty good time. i, of course, looked awful when it was all said and done - covered head to toe with black soot from God knows where, scratches all up and down my arms and legs, a scratch on my nose and a throbbing shoulder. when will i learn?! ;) but it was worth it! its weird because after i finish my Cross Fit workout and i already start looking forward to my evening Muay Thai class...i think i might be addicted to my gym :)

WOD 8/19/2009

*tear* my shoulder is hurt...again and that made today's prescribed workout pretty poopy:

warm up - 2 EASY laps + stretching

3-3-3 (heavy lifting/max)

overhead squats

front squats

back squats

this is what i really did:

3 X 20 overhead squats w/ the 25 lb bar

1 X 25 overhead squats w/ the 25 lb bar (i attempted to do the 35 lb bar on this one, but my shoulder wouldn't support it)

1 X 15 front squats w/ the 35 lb bar

1 X 15 front squats w/ 45 lbs

1 X 10 front squats w/ 55 lbs (this is where my shoulder started to really hurt with the added weight)

1 X 6 back squats w/ 55 lbs (we ran out of time)

i was not a happy girl this morning because i really don't feel like i accomplished much of anything. i really hate heavy lifting days and i wish Susannah would do them on the same day each week so i could just take that day off instead of getting out of bed before the ass crack of dawn to be disappointed when i find out what the work out of the day is going to be. oh well, it is what it is. last night's muy thai class was good, not nearly as hard as it has been the last couple of weeks, but a good workout nonetheless - i really need to make sure i get a good partner for these classes because that seems to make a huge difference in the amount of work put out. my shoulder held up okay throughout, but i definitely noticed it when we punched and did sprawls. so lots of ice and ibuprofen today with the evening off to pack for Texas. looking forward to tomorrow's group workout and then muy thai before i head out on Friday for a 7 AM flight! guess i know now to never let the boy book airfare ;)

WOD 8/18/2009

well its official, my shoulder is hurt, so today's workout sucked boo-tay:

warm up - 2 laps plus stretching

"Elizabeth"

21-15-9

Squat Clean

Ring Dips

13:12

the workout hurt, in more ways than one. first off, i tried to do the same weight as T, which was a BAD idea - she's just stronger than i am and that's that. so 65 lbs was way too much esp since i have a bum shoulder at the moment. so after my first set of 21, i dropped down to just the 45 lb bar and that seemed to hold up much better, so that is what i finished the workout with. i got frustrated with myself that i couldn't do the first weight, but then i got to thinking and my thinking led me to a good place - i'm just not there yet. i may never be and that's okay too. i have to remember i'm not training for anything right now so doing what i can is good enough for me, and the amount of weight you can push is all relative anyways so i'm good with it. what i am still annoyed with is that i attempted the weight that was too much and now my shoulder is throbbing, and i'm a little bit worse for the wear - its all learning though so i can't be too upset. now i know not to go overboard :)

and i'm pretty sure that my problem right now is i'm not eating enough...maybe? i don't know, i went to bed at 8 last night, i did have a good dinner (a big salad with protein and lots o cheese!) but i woke up tired and i'm freaking dead right now - like so tired if i put my head down i'd pass out. granted i didn't sleep all that well but it seems a little extreme to be this damn tired. i also feel like my body is taking a little longer to recover between yesterday and today. i'm going to definately stick with muy thai tonight but take Wednesday night off and see how i am feeling for Thursday's muy thai class so i dont over do it. i did forget my Inflammex shake last night so that could have something to do with it too. who knows, i feel like i'm almost too in touch with my body right now (which i know isn't possible) but it makes it hard to try and dumbly ignore all the signs like back before i started listening to what it was telling me :) since i'm taking tomorrow night off, i'm going to try and con good ol' Jeffrey into a run on Saturday AM to make up for it. i guess we'll see what he's willing to do, won't we ;)

the LSD last night was good. we did about 3 miles and thankfully (thank you God for this) my knees didn't start hurting. i was concentrated on listening to the way i was feeling throughout the run. we kept it at or below 153 bpm the whole time, chatting it up the whole way so we were sure to stay in the cardiovascular building zone. it actually felt really great besides the fact i forgot socks and had to borrow a pair of cotton ones that were not so forgiving on my poor little feet, but all in all, the run went well and i am very pleased with the sp.eds. yay for running!

WOD 8/17/2009

so this is what we found ourselves staring at today:

warm up - 2 laps + stretching w/ air squats, burpees and kb swings added in

10 kb swings (12 kilos)

10 burpees

400 M sprint (which ended up being a jog at best!)

as many times as you can in 20 min

well first of all, ouch! Susannah warned us to pace ourselves from the start and having the endurance background that i do, i knew she meant business so when we started and two of the 4 of us girls shot off in some kind of warped speed event race, i held my ground and knocked off each exercise at a steady rate. by round three i was starting my 400 M sprint while they were trying to pump out the last of their burpees :) luckily i know my body and what it can do pretty well, so i was able to keep my pace the entire time without having to stop and rest at all and that felt amazing. i even kept up with the guys (well i was right behind them) and ended up doing the same number of full rounds as the two top guys and 5 extra kb swings (Matt got in all 10 kb swings and i think Joe was pretty close behind him) before she called time. so three of us made 7 rounds in under 20 min, the rest of the peeps didn't quite finish their 7th 400 M sprint in the time allotted but all in all, the group did a great job. i was really impressed with everyone's effort and determination and i absolutely LOVED this workout. balls to the wall, all out, make you want to pass out at the end kind of love, and really, isn't that the best kind?! ;)


and on top of that i had another relaxing, movie watching, pool lounging weekend with the best friend and by Sunday night, i was itching to go to bed so i could wake up for Cross Fit this morning. its such a weird process...my first day off during the week (always a Wednesday or Thursday) proves to be difficult - i'm starving and usually exhausted all day long, but sure enough come Friday morning, i'm ready to go again, albeit still a little tired. on my second day off during the week (always Sunday), i'm usually not nearly as hungry and i literally can't wait to go to bed because i'm so excited for Monday's session. another very interesting fact i noticed this week in my nutrition is this: i can't do starchy carbs. i have officially trained my body to function without them and i live better that way. i ate seemingly healthy carbs last weekend with T (she is a slight carbaholic, but now i've finally gotten her on the way to recovery thanks to my source for everything Primal) - sweet potatoes and quinoa, but my body revolted in the nastiest of ways. i had some serious stomach issues, my face broke out BADLY and i was zapped of energy all weekend long. so i experimented this weekend and had none - which is what i normally do, but i wanted to see if there was a drastic difference in the way i felt from one weekend to the next AND THERE WAS A HUGE DIFFERENCE! my skin cleared up as well as my stomach problems. i slept better and had tons more energy - so it just goes to show that i know my body and although i get dogged on A LOT for not eating grains and starchy carbs, its what works for me and i'm going to keep at it. now i've got T experimenting with it and she already sees and feels a big difference in her moods and energy levels. so that's exciting...i'm going to get her primal yet!

so the week is looking like this as of today:
Monday - cross fit AM, LSD PM
Tuesday - cross fit AM, muy thai PM
Wednesday - cross fit AM, possibly the elliptical PM
Thursday - cross fit AM, muy thai PM
Friday, Saturday, Sunday OFF because i'll be in Tejas visiting the boy (hence the reason for all of the two a days in a row).

T and i both got new shoes this weekend too and what do you know? my knees didn't hurt at all during the workout this AM. these new trail running shoes we've dubbed "the fire starters" are our genius new cross fit shoes giving us both the light weight action we need for the running portions of each session with an added wide foot base that we need to keep us grounded and stable. I LOVE THEM! i try out the new runners which have been named "the sp.ed's" - T thinks they look like special ed shoes because they have MONDO cushioning (to hopefully minimize the jolt to the knees) but i say hey, if they get the job done, i don't give a crap what they look like :) now Hank, my tried and true RoadRunner Sports guru thought these not the best ones for me, but again i'd like to reiterate that i KNOW my body so although they are a pretty flat shoe, they give me all the cushioning i could ever want and are surprisingly light with plenty of room to move and breathe! so i added in a pair of the blue Super Feet to help with some arch and heel support and i really think i've got the perfect pair of shoes for my healing little body, but i'll give you a better update after my run this evening and let ya know how they feel! happy running to you and yours, MUAH ;)

WOD 8/14/2009

i hated today's workout:

warm up - 4 laps + stretching

Shoulder Press 3-3-3
Push Press 3-3-3
Push Jerk 3-3-3
(3 sets of 3 reps of each exercise, max out weight)


and yes, as i always seem to inevitably do, i hurt my right shoulder and now i am in a lot of pain. if you need me, i'll be icing it and popping ibuprofen like candy in hopes i don't have to sit out at all this coming week :( i went for a run this evening to see how the knees would hold up since they seem to be doing so well during cross fit. we attempted 3 miles, easy out and back and had to stop and walk about a half mile short of the mark, well didn't have to, but my knees were on the verge of screaming and i just had to listen to them. the yelping was becoming quite insistent and because i know what the next step is down this unworthy path, i decided to cut it short and walk it in. the most frustrating thing i have endured to date, tonight and many, many times during marathon and IM training is when your brain and cardiovascular system are more than happy to go on and on and on, but your knees and ITBands are yelling at you to stop. this mind over matter equation does not work out in the end - trust me, i know. you end up effing yourself over, forcing a prolonged "recovery" period of 6 months (or more) and this girl is no longer participating in that little time juncture. so we'll see. i'm going to check out running shoes tomorrow after muy thai and see if that might do the trick because really, 3 miles is completely do-able and i am going to do it.

WOD 8/13/2009

cross fit was super easy today, i know i shouldn't say that but it was. it was a partner day, meaning that you split each 50 rep exercise between the two of you and 4 of us showed up, me, Jackie, the other really fit Navy guy and Jenn. to even out the teams we did like a partner swap so each new exercise you had to have a new partner but you couldn't start the next round until your new partner was done with their last round of stuff. the rounds went like this:

warm up - one lap + minimal stretching

50 box jumps (i had to do step ups bc of my knees)
50 kettle bell swings
50 kettle bell push presses
50 jumping pull ups (on the box, SUPER easy, even Jackie did them this way bc thats what Susannah said to do)
50 overhead squats
50 burpees (i ended up doing 30 and Jenn doing 20 bc of her injury - props for her even being there to work through the pain!)

it could have been a gnarly workout had she made each of these 100 per team and we had had Tonice in the mix instead of Jenn (who is hurt right now so can't do a lot of the exercises at full watt), i can just imagine the awesomeness that would have been! i get excited just thinking about it (i am SUCH a cross fit nerd!)!!! oh well, it was good to be moving and workout out some lactic acid and LA iggies from yesterday. oh and my abs are SUPER sore from all of the stuff i did on Tuesday! i just have to say that Muy Thai that night ROCKED!!!!! it is the first time in all of this that i felt like i was finally getting my shit together. i was on every kick, every punch and even the conditioning before and after didn't break me like last time. i am coming back kids, watch. out.

:)

WOD 8/11/2009

warm up - one lap + stretching

400M sprint

25 sit ups

15 burpees

25 sit ups

X 4 rounds

16:40...maybe? all i know is i tied with Jackie who is the strongest female in our group so i was super stoked. i know i heard the 40 correctly but i cant remember the first number. i do know that Matt, who is a mother effing rockstar, finished in 15 something and we finished not too far behind him. so in a really strong group i finished second today which is completely awesome because i KNOW i'm getting stronger/fitter and it feels AWESOME!

so we use these things called "sit up boards" when we do these exercises - they are little black squares that have a cushiony top and an apex so that it supports the lower portion of your back during each set and at one point in the series, i think it was round 2, i was really in the zone - pumping out burpees like it was my job and as i began to switch gears back in to the sit ups, i was so concentrated on my next move that when i plopped down to start them off, i sat off to the side of the sit up board (like one ass cheek on, one ass cheek off) and kind of tumbled over. and did i mention we are doing this WOD outside, in a parking lot that has never been swept and i am off to the side in the dirtiest possible spot? so picture this - little katie b, completely covered (as in head to toe, not exaggerating) in black smut like Bert in Mary Poppins when they are doing the chimney dances on the roof tops, plopping down to what she thinks is a flat surface, with the most determined look on her face only to find herself toppling to the side and on to her face! Susannah just started laughing her ass off and said something like "i don't know what your doing over there, but its sure different than what's going on over here!" she had me laughing so hard i couldn't even concentrate on getting back into a rhythm. i finally found some semblance of seriousness and got back in it, but i'd just start giggling again every time i thought of my little stumble. classic.

WOD 8/10/2009

warm up - 2 laps + stretching

50 Thrusters (35 lb bar)
10 Pull-Ups (try two on my own, rest w/the box)

30 Thrusters (35 lb bar)

20 Pull-Ups (try two on my own, rest w/the box)

10 Thrusters (35 lb bar)

30 Pull-Ups (try two on my own, rest w/the box)

11:02

I GOT ONE PULL UP ALL ON MY OWN!!!!! the other ones i attempted didn't really come close and the one i did get was U-G-L-Y, but i did it and that's what counts! well sort of...i jumped to start off, but i couldn't even do that before so progress is being made and that makes me a happy girl :)

but this does NOT make me a happy girl - i have to take wednesday off this week bc i have to work out of the LA office that day so that means we meet up here to leave for LA at 530AM :( so not excited about that fact AT. ALL. damn damn damn damn DAMN! ugh!!!!!!

so this is what i am planning for my week...
monday - xfit AM
tuesday - xfit AM, muy thai PM
wednesday - off against my will!
thursday - xfit AM
friday - xfit AM, run with T PM
saturday - muy thai AM
sunday - OFF!

WOD 8/7/2009

warm up - 3 laps + stretching

Max Pull-Ups 1st min

5 Push Press 2nd minute

15 Squats 3rd minute

Keep rotating up to 20 mins

SUCKED!

Jared deployed today at 1030AM. i didn't sleep at all last night, i cried for a bit before i actually fell asleep but it was a fit-full sleep full of weird dreams. i think it hits me so hard because he's the closest thing i have to a brother, i love him like a brother and the thought of him getting hurt sort of just rips my heart open, for me yes, but mainly because T could not handle him being gone forever - it would quite literally kill her. but thankfully he's not going on a full tour (only 3-4 months instead of 6-7 months) but it still sucks and of course Tonice (my best friend since 8th grade, Jared's wife) is a wreck which makes the situation that much more intense. so we spent the day drinking, shopping and you guessed it...drinking some more. it actually ended up being a really fun day and i can tell T really appreciated me taking the day off to be there at the airport and spend the day with her. tomorrow is muy thai and i'm going to drag T's butt out of bed and to the gym no matter what! i am SO excited :)

ok, so i also realized today that i really need to start writing my "stories" again. my fun, lighthearted tales of katie b shenanigan's and the simply retarded things i do. cross fit doesn't lend to much of it because the workouts are so short and intense, but really i miss my stories so i'll try to get more entertaining again here soon, promise ;)

WOD 8/5/2009

well let me just start off by saying i am so beyond dead, like i can't freaking function right now. i am definitely taking tomorrow off! there is no way in hell i'd be able to be any kind of productive! all i could think while we were doing our workout this morning was "holy shit Muy Thai was a BBBBAAAAAAADDDDDD idea last night, i think i'm going to die" hahahaha, that's what i get, i guess, for trying to do it all! the class consisted of Jhanex trying everything in his power to break me (or so it went in my head, he really doesn't even know who i am, so it wasn't really personal but i made it that way). he is by far the toughest instructor i have taken a class from to date. after an hour of brutality, he decided to end the class with something he referred to as 30/20/30 - as in 30 burpees, 20 mountain climbers, 30 squat jumps TIMES THREE MOTHER EFFING ROUNDS! and kept saying "if any of you fuck it up, we're starting over" and he meant it because he kept making us start over during our warm up! what the hell?! are you trying to make it so i can't walk off the mat when this is over!? and if that wasn't bad enough, he decided to tack on an extra 30 partner sit-ups TIMES FOUR PAINFUL ROUNDS!

oh and i ran in to this guy last night after class that i had been out with a couple of times, and tried to have a conversation with him but i was clearly not coherent. he said something, but since i never listen to what actual words leave his mouth, i replied with basically the same thing he had just said about my best friend's husband, who is a Navy EOD and is deploying for Afghanistan this week, he was like "uh yeah, i got to go" or something like that. it may have been a little more involved than that, but not much - although i wasn't even speaking clearly bc i was so effing dead from the class. after he walked away i just sort of like flopped to the ground in an attempt to stretch but really just sat there and then when i got up, found a puddle of sweat in the general shape of my ass! classy and attractive all at the same time i tell ya. if i thought anything of him at all, i might have been a little offended that he wouldn't even take 5 min to talk to me, but i honestly couldn't even form a coherent thought to save my life so then i find myself at Cross Fit this morning and the following hell ensues...

warm up - 3 laps + stretching

8 rounds of Tabata Bottom2Bottom Squats - this means you do squats for 20 seconds, hold you're down, engaged position for 10 seconds (this she called your rest time, MY ASS IT WAS REST TIME!) and then shoot back up to do 20 more seconds of squats, 10 more seconds of "rest" times 8 rounds

800 M sprint

8 rounds of Tabata Top2Top Push Ups - pretty much the same thing as above but instead of the down position hold for the 10 seconds "rest" you hold the plank position.

this was a horrid workout. just. horrid.

WOD 8/4/2009

t's first day back to class since her and jared went on vacation and lucky for her Susannah made it a semi easy one...

warmup - 2 laps + stretching

5 deadlifts (105 lbs)

10 burpees

5 rounds

4:39

i was the first one done out of like 15 people. i. kicked. ass. and it was AWESOME! granted some people did deadlift more than me (duh, i'm not that good yet), but i'll take it :)

H.U.A.

I'm going to try to make it to Muy Thai tonight at 5:30 and see how that feels. i may be in for a world of hurt come tomorrow morning kids...

WOD 8/3/2009

it was so NOT fun today...

warmup - 4 laps + stretching

5 pull ups

10 pushups

15 squats

as many rounds as you can in 20 min

SUCKED. ASS.

the weekend was a VERY long one in the amount of stuff i had to do, but way too incredibly short in the amount of time i had to do it in. tons of stuff going on with me, but the one thing i can say (bc i dont have time to write today) is that i have found myself living in this moment more so than i think i ever have before. there are tons of new people in my life and some old that have helped to get me here and i'm having the most fun with it all ;)

more soon, promise...

one on one Muy Thai training session tonight to make sure i'm doing all the basics correctly then 15 min on the elliptical, all i can say is i can't seem to get full! i ate half a block of Wisconsin cheese with my dinner! oy :)

WOD 7/31/2009

yesterday was a much needed day off and i was met with quite the lovely return today:

warmup - one lap and stretching

5 rounds (no rest)
400 M sprint
15 thrusters (35 lb bar)
13:57

first one done, only one to complete all 5 rounds...

saw spots at the end but i did it! HUA!

tomorrow is Muy Thai at 9AM and oh how i love me some combat sports :)

WOD 7/29/2009

warmup - 3 laps and stretching

21-15-9 (3 rounds of descending reps)
deadlifts (105 lbs)
handstand pushups (i could only do negative releases)
8:32

good. and. tired.

WOD 7/28/2009

AM workout:
warmup - 2 laps and stretching

30 wall balls (8 lb medicine ball)
20 burpees
times 5 rounds...
20:52
(Note: it was supposed to be 30 box jumps instead of the burpees, but it hurts my knees to much so she said "oh you can just do 20 burpees, it will be harder but you can do it!" oy!)

i can't walk or lift my arms - hehehehe, i ♥ crossfit

PM workout:
30 min ab conditioning class
18 min on eliptical

WOD 7/27/2009

so this is my third week of Cross Fit and I LOVE IT! i didn't know i was supposed to be keeping track of everything as we go (DUH!) so i will start my logs today to keep track of my progress and to see where my hard work starts to come to fruition...oh and i forgot to remember what my time was (oops!) so i'll try to be better from now on :)

AM workout:
warmup - one lap and stretching

400 sprint
21 kettle bell swings (12 lbs)
12 pull ups (with the box)
3 rounds
15:51 (or somewhere around there)
(NOTE: the middle 400 was run backwards and the first and last 400's were run forwards)

kicked. my. ass.

PM workout:
15 min on eliptical
low intensity yoga class

if i had a tweet

my tweet for the day would be...

"i hate when people blatantly lie to your face"

rolfing

session 1: Let the Torture Begin...IT's and chest

i got to Iris' because its half way between my place and Roz's (the inflicter) and waited for what, i wasn't sure. all i knew going into it is that these things tend to be really painful. its a 10 session series that addresses the breaking down of the myofascial tissue that cradles and envelopes your muscles. this myofascial tissue, after years of misuse, over training, emotional trauma and other such things that cause strain on the organ, gets overly tight, sometimes adhering itself to the bone. sometimes it becomes so tight, so overly engrossed around the muscles, that the muscles themselves cannot move freely and independently of the tissue which may cause extreme tightness, miniature tears and painful movement. i find out as soon as she arrives that the first session concentrates on the chest area and the IT bands...duhn, duhn duhn. we started on the chest and it went well enough. pain but the good kind - the kind that hurts so much it feels good. and then it all came to a screeching halt. she started in on my IT's and i quite literally thought they were being ripped from my bone. the pain was indescribable and the only two thoughts going through my head were along the lines of 1. Mother Lord God in Heaven All Mighty...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! just. make. it. stop. and 2. marathon pain, yep this is what the marathon felt like at mile 6 and on...good God Almighty, i am one tough son of a bitch. who signs up for this shit? really, it was horrifically painful and i have a pretty damn high pain threshold. the next day, i looked like i had been in a cage fight with a dominatrix - i had bruises the length of my thighs combined with the soreness of boot camp, i was hobbling around like a little old lady with osteoporosis. if anything touched my outer thigh, i'd wince and yelp in pain. thank God that session is over with. and her closing remark to the night, "congratulations. you have the tightest IT's that i have EVER worked on!" wow, now that's an awesome award.

session 2: Who Knew You Could Have Knots There...feet

knowing the amount of pain i went through last week, i went into this session knowing it couldn't possibly be more painful so i wasn't too worried about the next hour and half, plus is was the feet session...how bad could it really be? i've had a foot massage before and its definitely not painful. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. as she really started working on the soles of my right foot we both got a big shock as she passed over a knot the size of Dallas on the mid center area of the foot where i almost, involuntarily mind you, kicked her square in the face with such force that it would have definitely knocked her unconscious - that soccer player is still in there alive and kicking we soon discovered. each time she passed the knot, i yelped and kicked. it was quite entertaining...for her, i on the other hand was almost in tears at the pain. then we moved to the right side and Good God in Heaven Above...why?! it was even tighter than the other side, but in new and surprising places yet to be discovered by the elite explorers of the infinite universe...the most unsettling aspect of this particular torturous rendezvous was that each time she passed over the achingly tight fascia of my feet, extreme pain would shoot up my legs and into my knees, right where the damn things hurt me on a daily basis. it was so surreal to make the connection of the seemingly disassociation of my knee problems to the tight spots in my friggin feet! and then i got another award, much like the last, "wow, i'm amazed at how incredibly tight the fascia is down here. its the most tense i've ever felt!" nice, nice kb - way to be a star in the "over extended use of the fascia" show. in the end, i stood up to find that i felt eerily grounded to the earth, like nothing could topple me. my feet felt all tingly and strangely anew, like i was a baby and had some new toys to play with...weird.

i woke up this morning feeling better than i have in a long, long time. grounded, steady, centered.

hahahaha

i am aware that some of my posts are very mysterious...almost cryptic and i was asked last week a very strange question, well maybe it was more of a statement:

"katie b. your posts are very mysterious. like, hey i'm not going to give you any details but tell you just enough to keep you wondering. like, hey i'm leaving the blog world as katie b. only to return as carl...wahhahahahaha, wahhahahah (evil laugh)"

so i thought i should clarify just a bit - i am not going through a sex change :) i am going through the healing trifecta - acupuncture, rolfing and strength rehab/boot camp. my body is exhausted and my mind is less than coherent so blogging right now is proving to be a little difficult. i feel like i don't really make sense in my head so God knows what i sound like out loud...a raving lunatic i'd imagine. so in the sake of sparing you...forget it, in the sake of sparing ME the humiliation of mad, not quite lucid rants i have opted to take an oath of silence...

yeah right, like that would EVER happen. just being a little quieter than normal so i can hear and try to decipher all those little voices in my head :)

and now i have officially made my case in point...i am nutso.

the first day of the rest of my life

today marks a day of change in ways i can't, won't attempt to put into words - not yet anyhow. i've been asking the universe for some very specific things and some not so specific things - today one of the specifics was realized. next Wednesday, yet another. along this path, a couple of the non specifics have made their way into my peripheral and although a lot of it is confusing and unnerving in some aspects, i am ready to open myself up to them in so many other aspects. i'm not quite ready to write about it all at this exact moment in time and maybe not for awhile, but i can tell you that this blog will be dormant for a bit while a major transformation takes place within my physical and spiritual being. i will also tell you the essence of the blog might not be as you remembered it when i return...remember my "back at it" simply applies to life in general, my life, not triathlon. i've come to know that triathlon is just a small part of who i am, not all that i am and definitely not all that i know.

that's it for now. sending you all big hugs and fast vibes on your upcoming races and training sessions. i'll be there cheering you on :)

what if...

i didn't train with the purpose of being a triathlete anymore? what would i do? who would i be?

a circus clown? i could travel to the ends of the earth with a painted face and a silly red nose, run around like a goof and bring smiles to children's faces, pet the animals and watch the trapeze artists in awe as they transport themselves from one end of the tent to the other with the ease of an arrow and the elegance of a feather - BUT i'm not all that fond of makeup and i definitely think that a red nose might cause me some serious distractions when walking down the street. running seems to be a problem and circus animals tend to be of the wild nature so i'm not so sure petting them would be the most intelligent decision i've ever made...

a dolphin trainer? i could travel to Hawaii or some other exotic land where i would wear a bathing suit to work each day while i gallivant the waters with Flipper and friends, lingering at the end of each day to witness the beauty of their stellar contours and the grace they emit as they glide seamlessly through the wake of the other, bringing shouts of awe as they flip and turn and splash the crowds with their unconditional love - BUT i hate to swim and the only reason for it is to get me to the bike and then to the run. i'd also find myself in envy of the large monsters for making the practice seem so effortless and free while i flounder around like a sunken ship trying to fulfill her maiden voyage on the windy seas...




an igloo architect? i could live in the billowing winds of Alaska with the cool temps of a rising nation where Eskimos thrive on the wilderness around - the fresh fish in the streams, the long nights of endless sleep and the thrill of building something with my hands for all to see and a nice family to live in - BUT i hate, hate HATE being cold and i'm no good at math and where there are fresh fish in clean streams there are big bears with growling bellies...


a teleprompter? i could live in Hollywood with all of the gorgeous celebrities and their small dogs where life is measured by the car you drive and the label on your ass. i could hold each card with strength and determination to not let one word slip by unnoticed, one exclamation point go unclaimed, dine with the great chefs that appear on Reggis and Kelly or rub elbows with Oprah and her fanfare - BUT i really am not very fond of pretentious people and i can't afford all the material things that would ingratiate me into the lives of the rich and famous, plus i wouldn't get much work done fore i'd be forever stalking the man of my dreams (well if he was a real person and not just a character)...

update - they apparently just use computers for this now :(

non of these seem to be very viable options...maybe i'll just be me and live with the fact that i may not be meant to be a triathlon great. maybe i'll just settle for being able to walk and maybe one day being able to run a mile or two with my kids while teaching them how to shoot and score on an open field where goals are made and big hugs are won. maybe just maybe i'll wait a bit longer before deciding my fate although i have a feeling my knees are in the midst of deciding that for me.

ART, running and the future

well i had my first appointment with my new physical therapist and can i just say that i am beginning to see a shred of light in the distance? A.R.T. is pretty much going to be my saving grace when it comes to running. i think i knew this in the back of my mind all along - A.R.T. type massage with the guys at Coastal got me through many a long Saturday run session BUT at $75 a pop, i just couldn't afford to keep going and since i had already caused the damage of too much too soon back from knee surgery, i was sort of in no man's land and just praying the imbalances would work themselves out. wrong, but the good Lord Almighty must have been listening because this particular place accepts my insurance - HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD! after one A.R.T. session, i was running more comfortably then ever - albeit it was probably only a total of 8 min all together interspersed with more painful releasing, but hell - i'll take it. my guy says i'll be back to running in no time flat with two times a week intensive therapy, which literally translates to about a month, maybe two and then i will be on track to race Vineman - not just complete it. so here's hoping that little miracle decides to make an appearance. i sure could use it about now.

the pain in my jaw has begun to subside although now my body is going through withdrawals from the pain pills and giving me massive headaches to contend with throughout the day and night - but this should give way soon as the drug toxins slowly begin to make their way out of my body.

i have gotten up at 445 AM two days in a row now to spin for an hour and do my "bridge progressions" which really make the weaknesses in my glutes and quads extremely apparent but fixing that is the name of the game. MPC was right on with all of his diagnoses and the rehab "homework" he gave me right up the same alley, he just didn't do the A.R.T. on me which apparently seems to be the missing key - the link from injury to health in my little body. i'm grateful that he was able to point me in the right direction and now i can capitalize on his methods and exercises with the A.R.T. and really be on my way to a full recovery...maybe even stronger than i was before but i won't get ahead of myself here just yet. this AM's spin was a particularly sweaty yet motivating one as i sat by the expansive window in my living room with my ipod blasting while i watched the dark become light and the water glimmer in the early morning crest of the sun...truly amazing.

other than that, on a more personal front - i've finally figured out what i am going to do with the rest of my life and its no where near accounting. i hate being stressed all the time and my job is that number one contributor (i mean who graduates with an English/Creative Writing degree and then gets stuck in an accounting management position?!). so come December, after IM is all said and done, i will be starting a program at K State to get my Master's in Educational Counseling for Collegiate Athletes...if God ever made a job just for me and placed it here on earth, i just found it and can't wait to get started. now i just need to figure out how to get the grants and such while working full time...if anyone can do it, i can - i'm a firm believer in the fact that if you want anything bad enough, it will come, you just have to channel it in the right manner.

now maybe i can get back to my fun story telling ways, i sure do miss the tomfoolery of yesterdays past...

update

an email to my coach i thought i'd share...

just wanted to give you a heads up on whats going on.

surgery update: today is my last day of antibiotics. i haven't done anything since last Tuesday bc of the surgery and probably won't today either, the meds make me really, really nauseous and i cant keep hardly anything down (my body just isn't used to this - i hardly ever even take over the counter stuff so this has been a doozy).

doctor's appt update: Doc thinks this season is do-able and has prescribed intensive physical therapy with someone at UCPT. I have an appt with him this week (Friday I think).

life update: I have really been doing some thinking and soul searching in the midst of my drug induced haze and i really do want to do this Ironman. its been really overwhelming and daunting to think about because i'm having a hard time getting past the point of my injury and not thinking about the big picture. its always been one of my problems, focusing on what's not right instead of what i can do and what i can make right. its a mental block that i am really trying to work on and what i needed was to hear the doctor tell me that this injury is something i can overcome and i will be able to run again pain free IF i work at it and follow the CORRECT channels of recovery instead of just winging it. so that is what i am going to do. i am looking into the whole masters thing this week and will fit something into my budget so i can get this party started :) thanks for your patience. i have deep seeded issues and i never know how they will manifest - they put up walls and hurdles throughout my mind on a constant basis and i'm just trying to work hard at getting over them, onto higher ground. i've been hit pretty hard numerous times but i'm not down for the count - its just taken me a little longer to get up from the last round than i thought it would. don't worry, my fight is still in there...

a drug induced state

Tuesday: 345PM went to the see the doctor - my knees still get really angry at the drop of a hat, my lower back on the left side is in a constant state of pain ranging from 2 to 6 and i've been having some nightmares lately on the state of my health. while i was getting my examination, he asked me to open my mouth so he could look at my throat. first major sign of a problem - i couldn't open because my jaw was so sore. my wisdom teeth had been coming in for about a year now, breaking the skin, but for some reason they had just started to REALLY hurt in the last 24 hours. he confirms the fact and tells me to take some Advil for the pain and swelling and we get back to the business of my original ailments where he prescribes "intensive physical therapy" he thinks i can do this season...i sure hope he's right. 9PM sitting up in bed, after already finishing the last of my Advil bottle and some sleeping pills, my knees tucked into my chest, crying and moaning in pain - it was everywhere. in my ears, all along my jaw line, in my nose and in my eyes. pain swept through my face like a runaway steam engine. 1145 PM up and pacing the room, crying softly having crazy thoughts about morphine and what i'd have to do to get some. are there channels for this stuff? can't have vicodin or codeine because i'm allergic to it. what else to do except load up on more Advil? so off to the drug store to buy Orajel and Advil in my state of excruciating pain. can teeth really cause this sort of reaction?! don't sleep for the entire night, praying the clock would just speed up so i could take more Advil.

Wednesday: 730AM at the office waiting for Angie to get there so we can figure out what to do with insurance - i never got my insurance cards replaced after my purse was stolen so i was in a bit of a pickle. 8AM finally get through and talk to the nurse at the dental office - she says to come in right away. 830AM first round of x-rays that didn't take so another set administered. in so much pain that a constant stream of tears has taken residence on my cheeks. 945AM emergency surgery scheduled. "highly aggressive infection" has been wreaking havoc on my system and had i waited any longer to get in, the infection would have quickly made its way to my brain. 1030AM antibiotics intravenously pumped through my veins along with anesthesia to put me out so the two wisdom teeth on the bottom could be broken and removed. my jaw still won't open, so they have to put me out quickly so they can move fast. 1130AM (i think, time is now lost) im waiting for BG to come and pick me up with instructions to not do anything except medicate, 800mg of Advil, percocet and amoxicillin every 4 hours until gone (or as the pain dictates).

Thursday - miss work, in a drug induced state all day long where in the middle of that day i get an idea i can't shake and drive over to PB to get something done that i'd been wanting for a long time and since i'm out of commission for at least a week, i had to do it then due to the timeline of the healing process - i don't want to give Coach anymore excuses as to to why i can't do my training. i HAVE to train after this round of meds is over. its now or never. yep, a new tattoo. the things you do when your not in your right mind - mom is going to kill me...back to bed and loaded up with more meds.

Friday - try to go to work and make it till 930AM where i found myself almost barfing because sitting up straight for 4 hours in a row has made me more nauseous then i had imagined it would. have to lay down on the floor for 20 minutes before i can drive home. my body is NOT used to having this medication whirling around inside it. the antibiotics are too much for my system to handle and its making me sick. the drugs to kill the infection are killing me and i have to go back to bed...

sweat, tears and rain

okay, so there really wasn't that much sweat, it was only 60 degrees after all and the tears didn't come until later but the rain - oh was there rain.

the plan was to ride for 2.5 hours by getting in 2 laps at Fiesta and then taking Morena up to the top where i would attempt as many hill repeats as my body would allow. i began the ride at 9AM, over to Fiesta for the laps where, for once, i passed at least 6 people which ordinarily wouldn't have been as monumental except that these people were not all 90 year olds - a great feat in my eyes seeing as how they were all a part of one of the "elite training groups" in San Diego and the fact that there were some gnarly ass winds pushing me every which way. i couldn't lean too much one way because i'd end up swerving too much the other way. i kept it in my big chain ring and pounded out two steady laps - and yes i pushed it but i held strong, not killing myself - a sustained chain of energy throughout each lap. as i finished up the last of the dreaded island, i felt a small tickle of rain on my fingers. the sky looked pretty menacing...rain was coming and i needed to decide the best course of action because i don't ride in the rain - not at all.

when i heard that Denner did IM Lake Placid in the pouring rain last year and did it well, i was in complete awe. how could anyone push a steady pace, much less compete in a race when its pouring down rain? its so dangerous. so unpredictable. so temperamental. so...scary.

i had two optional routes back to my place. i would not be pushing my luck and trying to get in the full 2.5 hours, i just wanted to make it back home safely. option one: go back the way i came which included heavy traffic, two on/off ramps to deal with and a very narrow bridge to contend with. option two: make a full circle, making my way through heavy traffic and a couple of dicey intersections, rounding out to Nimitz and back to my place. i thought i'd take the lesser of the two evils and hit the latter of the options - bad idea. i rode directly into the rain. 30 min on the dry yet blustering island into dark skies, slick roads and irritated drivers wondering why in the hell someone would be out riding their bikes in this mess. as people would honk, i would just grip my bars a little harder and think "well i can't just sit here people, i have to get home one way or another!" and pushed on. in the end, i was soaked to the bone - freezing cold and glad to be on steady ground.

total trip was only around 17 miles, averaging 16.5 mph and i think just over an hour of ride time. by the time i got off my bike, my knee was THROBBING. i don't know if it was the rain, the cold, the fact that i pushed it or a combination of the three. i limped back up to my apartment and drew a hot bath to get the cold ache out of my bones and hopefully out of my knee. as i sat in the hot steam and boiling water, i closed my eyes and let myself feel all the pain and the disappointment of this ride. i had pushed it, but not anything insane. if i couldn't even do an 17 mile ride with a steady push containing no major climbs how in God's name am i to do an IM with a run tacked on at the end? my dad's knees kill him everyday of his life. he recently had knee surgery on each leg and the next step is knee reconstruction. he is 58. he never ran like i did and yet he's in pain all the time. i'm 28 and have done a lot of running in my life (both physically and metaphysically but the former is the point of this post) and i'm in constant pain right now - what will it be like when i'm 58? will i be in a wheel chair because it hurts too much to walk? what the hell am i to do with this information, with these thoughts? what do you do when your body is broken, when your mental is broken - swirling, twirling and ending in a broken spirit of unimaginable space? i let my body go limp and my head slip under the clear water that encompassed me, letting the tears float up and broach the surface, breaking the glass-like wall that divided me from the rest of the world even if it was just for a moment...

oh Lordy...

i didn't think it would ever happen, but it did. its been something i've been avoiding since late October. just the thought of the act makes me feel irritated and antsy. the earliness. the darkness. the coldness. none of it is appealing, not in the least. plus i pretty much suck at it. but lo and behold, my schedule said i had to do it today. i went to bed last night thinking "not a chance in hell" but i set my alarm anyhow. i woke up today with the alarm at 445 and thought "not a chance in hell" and what do you know? 45 min later i find myself SWIMMING! holy Lord - i think my body might be starting to remember how it took over last season even against my most diligent protests. the outcome was anything but pretty. i felt like i was carrying a dead body behind me. the poor guy i had to share my lane with finally gave into the idea of splitting the lane instead of circle swimming (like i had suggested in the first place) after he lapped me for the third time in like 2 minutes - who knew the CP would be so hoppin' on a Wednesday morning at 530AM? by the time i got done with my first time trial of the season, i was so hungry i could have eaten my arm off, but that would not have lent me well for the drive home so i opted to wait and have been sort of suffering because of it all day. i have to start eating more again or i'll never make it through the week, much less the season! my arms have yet to recover and i'm pretty darn sleepy. first swim workout was NOT fun. not. one. iota.

setbacks and stillness

woke up on Sunday still feeling like i had had a nice run in with the brick wall from Saturday but i had promised danban we'd do breakfast and catch up - i was really looking forward to it so i got up and moving around 7 to meet her just before 9 at Naked. a good meal and some great quality catch up time later i was on my way to meet BG at the Shores so i could pick something up from him. it was a stupid thing to pick up too - my left overs from the day before because i'm really trying to watch how i spend (and waste) my money with the economy like it is - so i met him, got my stuff and left.

as i'm driving down Vallecitos to get back to the 5, a car comes at me going about 35 mph down a very narrow street lined with parked cars. the dude nearly side swipes me, pushing me over to the right where my mirror just happens to be the exact same height and placement as a parked Volvo sitting nice and quietly and WHAM! it all happened so quickly. there were two cars behind the car that almost creamed me - not one of them stopped. there was a car behind me - he didn't stop. no one stopped, no one but me. shaking and on the verge of tears. completely flabbergasted at the thought that someone had just forced me over so far on the road that i ended up hitting the mirror of another car AND NO ONE STOPPED. let's recap the life of my car as i know it:
1) early Nov 07 - bought the car.
2) late Nov of 07 - had to replace all 4 tires plus two wheels because i ran over something in the dark...probably a 2X4 or something silly like that - who knows, it was dark.
3) Feb of 08 - passenger side window was smashed in and my purse was stolen during an 8 mile training run for the marathon.
4) Jan 1, 09 - first hit and run but because the smelly Ohian was still passed out drunk in her car, i was able to corner her and get her to ante up her insurance info (just a couple of door dings).
5) Jan 16, 09 - second hit and run in the Whole Foods parking lot and i wasn't so lucky this time. no note, no car, no nothing (had to basically replace the entire back rear of the passenger side of my car).
6) Feb 16, 09 - third hit and run while my car was parked outside my apartment building. again, not note, no car, no nothing. (had to replace the front end of my car including the hood because who ever did it, actually hit me so hard while they were trying to park, that they forced themselves up on it). later, i find out who did it but because there were no eye witnesses and i cannot afford a stupid lawyer OR the court fees associated with it all, he gets away with it all.
7) March 14, 09 - i nearly get side swiped and the above ensues...

i seriously thought about leaving - i mean not one time did anyone have any regard at all for me or my car when they decided to put there mark on my life. and i just stood there in the middle of the road and screamed unsightly things in my head and cried. finally, after about a minute of trying to decide how good a person i really am (this is yet to be determined) - i walked over to where i had pulled my car over, got out my cell phone and called my insurance company to start the claim for the poor car that ended up getting the brunt end of the fiasco. i ended up having to take responsibility for the accident since the guy who almost hit me didn't stop. i didn't stop shaking the entire hour i stood there waiting for the owner to come back so i could apologize and let them know i had already taken care of everything and all they needed to do was call. no one ever came so i left all the information they'd need.

so i'd say i had a bit of a personal setback. its not all sunshine and roses. i am in the midst of being really ticked off and feeling really sorry for myself - neither of which are good. now i'm sort of praying for some stillness...